The most frustrating part of being Zizzy's mom right now is that she wants nothing to do with me. For some reason, Dad is the preferred parent for...well, everything. She won't let me get her food, she won't get in the tub for me, lay down at bedtime, she won't even go to the restroom for me. It's frustrating for Dad, cuz he comes home to a tired, hungry, sometimes-stinky kid. But it's heartbreaking to know my child has a need and she just doesn't WANT me to help her. She doesn't want me around...she wants Dad.
Mom goes to endless meetings and fights for one-on-one aids, therapies, etc. etc. Mom drives her to said therapies. Mom does her laundry, cleans her room. But Mom might as well not exist...worse, she really wishes I didn't, apparently. I can't make her let me in...that would amount to a type of assault in her world. She's big enough and strong enough I cant' just pick her up and TAKE her potty or to the bath. Not only is she almost 50 pounds now, she's strong as heck. And I can't take any more lumps from her...at least, none that I don't already take on a daily basis.
So, when Dad calls and gripes about being the go-to guy, I want to cry cuz I'm the one being ignored and/or beat to a pulp.
I love my daughter.
Wish she loved me back.
