Bizzy's hands are important. Deeply, profoundly important. I don't know why. In her world, they are...everything. Waving her fingers in front of her eyes offers...comfort, release, distraction, stimulation. They have always been the center of her universe. Even when she was a day old, she already had those long fingers in front of her face. When asked, "When did her repetitive behavior begin?" Bizzy's repetitive behavior is waving those fingers...and I have to answer, "She's done it for ever."
We don't silence Bizzy's hands. I don't reach up and still her fingers when they are working furiously millimeters from her eyeball. I've learned she's expressing herself through her fingers, through her hands. If you watch...you'll see it. "I'm stressed!" "I'm excited!" "I don't want to talk to you." It's all there.
When Bizzy puts her hand in mine...reaches us and places one of those all-important hands into mine...it's magic. It is trust, acceptance, love. It is being able to guide her, touch her, caress her. It says, "Mom, I know you're here. You won't lead me wrong. I know I am safe with you." She is sharing her hand with me. She is sharing her world with me. The feel of her little hand in mine is precious beyond words, and I savor it each and every time.
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